Is anxiety taking over your life?
Are you often on-edge, nervous, or irritable?
Do you find yourself replaying your day as you try to fall asleep, going over each mishap of the day, imagining what else might have gone sideways that you didn’t notice?
Do people close to you often tell you that you’re “overthinking” things?
Maybe you avoid speaking up in meetings, or in class, even though you have something to say. Or maybe you cancel plans at the last minute with friends even though you’d really like to go, because the thought of actually going makes you too nervous. And then you feel guilty because you cancelled at the last minute, and that makes you even more anxious
Do you have neck pain, stomach aches, loss of appetite, or headaches that people tell you are “all in your head”? (Um, yeah, where else would I have a headache?)
Or maybe you experience panic attacks that include chest pain, feeling short of breath, shaky, suddenly hot or cold, or like you’re going to throw up?
Have you ever ended up in the Emergency Room, thinking you were having a heart attack, only to be told, “It’s just anxiety”? (Thanks, Doctor. So, I’m feeling yucky, there’s nothing you can fix, and now you say I’m crazy, too? )
Do you wish you could understand what’s causing the problem, and how to get some control of anxiety, so you could get back into the driver’s seat in your life?
Everyone experiences anxiety to some degree, and that’s not actually a bad thing
It is really normal for EVERYONE to experience some anxiety. But for some of us, Anxiety is such problem that it gets in the way of truly living, rather than just getting through each day. According to some estimates, each year, 40 million adults are affected by anxiety, which is one of the most common mental illnesses in the United States. And that also makes anxiety one of the most studied and most treatable mental health conditions.
Anxiety gave our ancestors an evolutionary advantage
We humans are all descendants of the anxious Cave-guys and Cave-gals. The anxious ones were the ones who survived long enough to pass along their genes. Picture for a minute, the non-anxious Cave Gal… she’s just chilling out, gathering nuts and berries, rocking that leopard-skin mini with her lizard-bone-necklace catching the afternoon sun, not particularly worried about much. She’s not anxious, so she’s not really listening for the sound of the approaching sabre-toothed tiger… and suddenly… chomp! She’s tiger-chow and did not survive long enough to have babies and pass along those non-anxious genes. Her anxious sister, who was on alert for threats, did. And the human race continued with the genes of the anxious Cave-gal. Anxiety is part of the genetic gift of our ancestors. (Gee, thanks, Cave-Grandma… you shouldn’t have.) Some of us are, er…blessed…to have a bit more of it than others, but we all have some, or we wouldn’t be alive right now.
Having anxiety does NOT mean you are crazy
I once heard someone say, “I don’t have anxiety. I’m just nervous all the time.” For some people, even admitting that you have anxiety makes you uncomfortable, because it sounds like you’re admitting to being crazy, or “sick” or mentally ill. Even though we use the term, “Mental Illness” to talk about recognized disorders like Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Social Anxiety, Panic Disorder, and Specific Phobia (bridges, dogs, snakes, elevators…), I want you to notice that none of those diagnoses include the word, “crazy”.
Anxiety, in any one (or more) of its forms might be affecting you every day. You may not know what to call it, what’s causing it, or how to fix it. All you know is that you just don’t feel like yourself, and you’re gradually shrinking your world, avoiding doing certain things, because you don’t want to feel this uncomfortable.
Anxiety is increased by the real things that life hands us that make us anxious: relationship problems, job stress, parenting stress, worries about health, social anxiety, specific phobias (snakes, flying, spiders, flying spiders --eek!, heights, public speaking, dogs… you get the idea). Other things like certain medicines, caffeine, and too much time spent on social media can make anxiety worse.
Thankfully,with some help from a trained, experienced, non-judgmental therapist, you can get past Anxiety and back into your life.
Anxiety therapy can help you feel in control again
Working with an experienced, compassionate anxiety therapist can help you understand anxiety, and begin to feel like you’re more in control of your life.
I use a collaborative approach to putting together your anxiety treatment, working with a set of evidence-based techniques that I have found helpful for both adults and teens. There is no one-size-fits-all anxiety treatment. Instead, you and I will look at how anxiety is interfering with your life, and decide on a set of tools to get it under control.
My toolbox of anxiety therapy tools includes:
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy - CBT is the go-to, “standard” treatment for anxiety. It is an approach that focuses on identifying unhelpful thoughts (called “irrational thoughts” in this treatment) and the behaviors that follow those thoughts, in order to empower you to overcome and shrink the uncomfortable feelings (like anxiety).
Solution Focused Therapy - This set of techniques focuses on the Exceptional Experience: the time when Anxiety was NOT ruling your life. As we identify the exceptional experience, we look closely at that experience: what you did, what resources you had, what your thoughts were, and how to you felt, to find clues that will help you make that exception into more of a norm.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)- This is a mindfulness-based treatment that originated in Australia (a place full of deadly spiders and other stuff to be worried about, so you know it works), and it’s growing in use worldwide. This therapeutic approach focuses on identifying what makes your life worth living, acknowledging what is getting in the way (thoughts, feelings, urges, uncomfortable sensations) and committing to taking small, daily actions toward a life worth living.
Exposure Therapy – This one is kind of what it sounds like: a system of exposing yourself to small “doses” of what makes you anxious, as a kind of “vaccination” against the anxiety trigger. Often, this process starts with just thinking about the thing that makes you anxious, and learning to tolerate how that feels. Over time, these doses build up until you’re at the goal you have set for yourself. Keep in mind, this process involves only the amount of exposure that you feel you can handle, a little at a time, while practicing relaxation techniques and cognitive restructuring until your anxiety response calms down. You and I will work together to set the pace of your “dose” at any given time. This technique works especially well for specific phobias and some social anxiety.
As an experienced anxiety therapist, I have seen that the right approach, customized for each unique person, can help people feel better and get on with living their lives.
What actually happens in anxiety treatment? Will it be awkward and uncomfortable?
When you log in to my virtual office you’ll enter my virtual waiting room and if you’re early, you’ll have a minute to breathe and get yourself comfortable for the next 55 minutes of our video meeting.
You’ll see a cue on the screen at the start of your session time, and you’ll click “join session” and we’ll begin.
If it’s your first session, we’ll talk a little about the background information from the forms I sent you before the appointment, go over any questions you have, and then we’ll dive right into to working with your anxiety. We’ll start with a check-in on how anxious you’re feeling as we start, and how anxiety has impacted your life this week. The session will flow from there in all kinds of directions, depending on how anxiety is affecting your life, and the goals that you have. Near the end of the session, we will check-in again to see how your anxiety rates, and we’ll agree on some “homework” to try in the time before the next session. In each session, you’ll be able to speak freely about your experiences, thoughts and feelings, perhaps for the first time, in a safe, non-judgmental space. You are fully in charge of what and how much you talk about, and together we will work toward your goals at your pace.
What if natural anxiety treatment isn’t enough?
In my experience, a small number of people have an anxiety “gift” from their cave-people ancestors that is so stubborn that it needs a little extra help to settle down, in the form of medicine from a prescribing physician. If that’s the case for you, that doesn’t mean that therapy has “failed”. It means we need to add some additional tools to our work. If medication is something you want to look at, we can talk about referring you to a physician—either your own primary care doctor, or a psychiatrist. Psychiatrists are medical doctors who have additional training and experience working with the mind, and can prescribe medications that can help your brain chemistry to work for you (instead of against you), as you continue to work on skills for dealing with your anxiety.
How long will anxiety treatment take?
I have found that people who come to therapy each week, challenge themselves to be honest and real during the session, and most importantly, do the “homework” between sessions, usually find some real improvement in about 12-15 consecutive sessions. (Of course, your actual mileage may vary, as they say in the car commercials. )We will set some goals at the beginning of therapy and we’ll keep looking together at how close you are to meeting those goals, revising your goals if we need to. The process is flexible and collaborative, based on the overall goal of helping you feel better and live your best life.
You Can Take Charge of Anxiety and Start to Feel Better
Let’s talk. I can be reached by phone at (925) 351-4003 and we can schedule a free 30 minute consultation where we can discuss any questions or concerns you have about anxiety therapy. If calling feels too anxiety-producing, text me and let me know a good time to call, and I’ll call you back. I try to get back to all texts and voicemails within 24 hours.
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